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by Steven Nash

Okay, so you are feeling the effects of Stress? You need to out the strain of Stress from your everyday life?
Try this at home, work optional if you are comfortable with those you work with.

Method 1: The Stretch.

Straighten your body as much as possible whilst seated, then stretch your arms up (can also be done pointing outwards in front of you) at full thrust whilst at the same time strain your legs downwards and feet pointing straight down. If you feel pressure from your upper back rise throught your shoulders and arms then you are doing it correctly. You may experience a sudden loud noise dispersal from your mouth at the time of The Stretch, this is perfectly normal and indicates a tremendous release of Stress and often Frustration dispersal at the same time.

Method 2: Tapping.

Often misinterpreted as an annoyance, Tapping is actually a musical way to release Stress by the negative energy release through an easily handled object such as a pen or ruler. Using such objects by creating a "drumming" effect has a calming effect my using Stress in a positive manner. Combining both a pen and ruler, or both identical objects, gives a fuller fulfilment and a harder Tapping using simultaneous use of 2 objects gives a quicker more harsher release of the most severe cases of Stress.

Method 3: Screaming/Yelling.

Definately one for home use only! Standing is recommended before commencing, by being totally erect (no rude pun intended, but later covered) with arms out at the sides and legs tightly positioned together take a very deep breath and disperse a full blown unadultered burst of the harshest and indeed loudest scream/yell until you cannot release anymore. Side effects of increased blood pressure and burning sensation in the cheeks and throat is very common. Repeat as required.

Method 4: M@sterbating.

Most common yet one of the most effective, as with Screaming/Yelling, this is a definate one for personal use only! Whilst obvious what motions and movements required should now be obvious, many find the aid of toys a great stimulation and added satisfaction. Also a method used for frustration. Repeat if required every hour, or until you run of toilet paper (men) and/or you become sore.

Method 5: Noises.

Making noises with your mouth by using a weird and wonderful unprovoked and original sound of absolute continuation in alternative tones and effects is quite effective by combining all of the above Methods. Again, this is recommended for home use only!

Method 6: Flexing.

Similar to Stretching, but by straining your arms combined with shoulder and upper back into a "muscle man pose" and making a Noise at the same time is a very intense but probably the most effective method of releasing Stress. Also by pulling your arms, with elbows pointing out backwards, to release stress on your upper and lower back. You may experience increase blood pleasure and possible headache with extreme cases of cramp possible if you over do it, use with care and in moderation!


Okay, when you have got used to all of the above methods try combining them (as recommended with Noises) such as;

For the more physically effects of stress Combine 1 & 6
For those with mental effects Combine 3 & 5
Frustration also causes Stress so Combine 4 & 5
For the really emotionally (not mental) effects of Stress, Combine 2 & 3

Combine as you progress depending on mood and slightly reduce as Stress begins to lessen and becomes more infrequent.

If all else fails, get a new job! Or, there is always DEATH to look forward to.

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Page last modified on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 14:15